When the Baby Cries and You Want to Scream: Understanding Postpartum Rage
By Kristen Ghersi Hering, Ph.D. – Clinical Psychologist, Bloomfield Hills, MI
Most people have heard of postpartum depression. Some know about postpartum anxiety. But postpartum rage? It's a maternal mental health experience that's rarely discussed—and yet incredibly common.
If you’ve found yourself snapping at your partner, feeling irritated by your baby's cries, or overwhelmed with a boiling sense of anger you don’t recognize in yourself… you're not broken. You’re not a “bad mom.” And you’re not alone.
You may be experiencing postpartum rage—a lesser-known, but very real response to the enormous identity shifts, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and emotional overload that often accompany early motherhood.
What Does Postpartum Rage Feel Like?
Postpartum rage can show up in ways that are surprising, confusing, and deeply distressing to new moms. It may include:
Feeling like you’re constantly on edge or about to snap
Yelling more than you ever thought you would
Crying from frustration or shame after an outburst
Feeling resentful toward your partner, your baby, or others
Thoughts like “I didn’t used to be like this” or “What’s wrong with me?”
Rage may be triggered by small things—a dropped pacifier, a messy house, feeling touched-out, or being the only one who knows where the diaper rash cream is (again). It’s often a sign of deeper burnout, unmet needs, or internalized pressure to be the “perfect mom.”
Why Does No One Talk About This?
Because we’re not taught that anger is a normal human emotion for mothers. Society tells us to be “grateful,” to “soak in the moments,” and to smile through exhaustion. But anger is a signal, not a flaw. It tells us when something’s not working. When boundaries are needed. When we’re under-supported. When our nervous system is screaming for help.
What Causes Postpartum Rage?
There’s no single cause, but common contributors include:
Hormonal shifts after birth or weaning
Sleep deprivation and overstimulation
Unrealistic expectations of motherhood
Perfectionism and high-achieving tendencies
Relationship stress, isolation, or identity loss
Unprocessed trauma, birth or otherwise
For many of the women I work with—especially high-functioning, perfectionistic, career-driven moms—rage isn’t just about irritability. It’s about deep, accumulated resentment, depletion, and grief from trying to hold everything together.
You Are Not Alone—And You Deserve Support
If you’re silently struggling with anger or shame around your reactions, know this: postpartum rage is a symptom, not a character flaw. With the right support, it is absolutely treatable.
In therapy, we can:
Identify triggers and build emotional regulation tools
Explore underlying anxiety, depression, or trauma
Reconnect with your identity outside of motherhood
Establish realistic expectations and self-compassion
Work on communication and boundaries with partners or family
Restore a sense of calm, connection, and control
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
As a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health, I work with high-achieving moms across Metro Detroit navigating the complex emotions of early motherhood—including anger, resentment, and identity shifts.
If you’re finding yourself more irritable than you’d like, if you’re yelling more than you want to, or if you’re silently wondering “Is this normal?”—I want you to know: There is help, and there is hope.
📍 Located in Bloomfield Hills and offering telehealth throughout Michigan.
#PostpartumRage #MaternalMentalHealth #MomAnger #HighAchievingMoms #PerfectionismAndMotherhood #TherapyForMoms #PostpartumSupport #MomBurnout #MichiganTherapist #DetroitMoms